handphone radiation kills? maybe not...

So, there's this group of us who tried to pop popcorns with our hand phone as seen in youtube. DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY! hah, but it was fun while it lasted.

just a boy from baltimore with big dreams

I feel compelled to talk about this.

Because every once in a century, a hero comes along and with strength so great and with perseverance so vast. Yes yes, Michael Phelps.

One day when people hear my name, I want them to go the way I go when I hear Michael Phelps' name. Usually when i hear Michael Phelps' name, I would go "omg, he has hot body!" or "omg, he's like so pro!". I rather the latter response. But if people would compliment that i have hot bod then it would be an added bonus but it doesnt really matter.

However, I note the frequency of successful people doing badly in school. -.-"

"The biggest thing is staying positive and imagining anything is possible. Because it really is." - Phelps

I have my own principles too.
I believe in hard work. I believe that the human mind can achieve far greater things if we constant push ourselves.
I don't believe in perfection and perfection can only be personified through Christ. :)

what does it really mean to be humane?

Its so abstract, sketchy and subjective. A question mark in the question itself. Almost impossible to quantify.

don't be sad that xinyi disappeared from blogger! But she has added herself to flickr! Click here!

every beginning has an ending.

at 16, I'm still in shirt and jeans. Will you accept me for who I am?
at 16, girls doll up and put on make up. I don't. Will you accept me for who I am?

I'll not be answering my phone from 15th till the end of the holidays. I need a break from everything, get away for awhile to think about stuff. To those who are in pain and suffering this is for you. :D 'Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.'

Its about time I change my medium. I'm changing it to paper and pen and this time its really a secret diary for real. Every beginning has an ending and every hero starts from zero.

Thank you for bearing with my incoherence.

The end.

A series of brief conversation part 2

Let me write something happier for a change.

Xinyi: I think i got grounded. I don't actually know if i got grounded cause she didnt actually say the word grounded. And I have no idea why i got grounded.
-silence-
Xinyi: Did i say the word grounded too many times?
Shalyn: Yes. -.-

Xinyi: -copies win's pm on msn-
Win: Copycat!
Xinyi: I'm not a cat!
Win: CopyXinyi!!!
Xinyi: oh wait, maybe I am a cat. That's why shalyn's dog keep barking at me.

Xinyi: Lucky I dont have a dog. So noisy! More noisy than me!
Win: Ya!!!!!!!!
Xinyi: what's with the exclamation marks?
Win: I am exited!!!
Win: excited!!!
Xinyi: You're excited about a dog?
Win: I am excited that the dog is noisier than you!!!!!

Xinyi: eh, they say when you're young if you look cute, when you get older you'll look ugly. And if you're ugly when you're young, when you're older you look nice.
Shalyn: yarh.
Xinyi: omg, win. when you're young you look very cute right?!
Win: you look even better than me when you're young.

Weng: -asks about names of different baby animals- whats a baby dog?
Xinyi: -thinks for 3 seconds- puppy?
Weng: baby swan?
Xinyi: I don't know? goose?

Xinyi: I feel suffocated. (figuratively)
Win: then how??
Xinyi: err... i dont know! try to ventilate the place lorhh!!

Anyway, to a certain someone. Happy birthday.

My blog will self destruct in a matter of days. My father thinks blogging is shit.

the aftermath

I have lost faith in humanity. I don't know how I feel actually. Maybe elusive is the word. Soon, I will be void of feelings. I won't cry, I won't feel the pain. Pain would mean nothing to me anymore.

I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind.

hear my heart cry out, 'can someone help me?' cause I know its gonna be 4 in the morning and my tears are pouring. and no one's gonna be there. It would just be me and 'Boston' on the loop.

I hate myself for being such a loser. I hate myself for losing faith. I hate myself for getting an f. I hate myself for failing English. I hate myself for being a ______ ______. I hate myself for being not good enough. I hate myself for being good at nothing. I hate myself for feeling the pain. I hate myself for feeling this way when I could clearly be happier. Now I hate myself for hating myself.