I have lost faith in humanity. I don't know how I feel actually. Maybe elusive is the word. Soon, I will be void of feelings. I won't cry, I won't feel the pain. Pain would mean nothing to me anymore.
I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind.
hear my heart cry out, 'can someone help me?' cause I know its gonna be 4 in the morning and my tears are pouring. and no one's gonna be there. It would just be me and 'Boston' on the loop.
I hate myself for being such a loser. I hate myself for losing faith. I hate myself for getting an f. I hate myself for failing English. I hate myself for being a ______ ______. I hate myself for being not good enough. I hate myself for being good at nothing. I hate myself for feeling the pain. I hate myself for feeling this way when I could clearly be happier. Now I hate myself for hating myself.
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i think i know how it feels to long for a new life, where you can start over. maybe i can understand a little of what you're feeling, and i got what i wanted, a chance to start again,
but i found myself doing what i did in the old place,
and life in a new life just got depressing as well,
where i did the same mundane things day after day,
and i didnt really have people to really be happy with,
to share things with,
to be myself with..
yeah, i talked to people on msn,
i blogged,
i called,
but it just wasn't the same,
and i started to miss the old life, where i was a somebody, where people really needed me, where i actually had life.
and so i came back,to the life i wanted so much to leave,
and i'm glad,
because people like you make it all worthwhile..
because people like you accept me so readily for who i am.
so yeah,
i'm not asking you to do anything,
not to cheer up cuz life really is a bitch and leaving maybe really is good,
i just wanted you to know how it felt like for me to be able to start anew..
i'm not saying its a bad thing either, cuz maybe its just that i didnt give myself enough chance to like the place.
going to a new life really was interesting, but i guess, to me,
all i needed was a break from everything..
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