And this solitude is really seducing.

I need sx-70 blend. I want to try out manipulation on poloroid films.

I would love to step into a lavender garden. I imagine myself taking the first whiff of the smell of lavender and wet grass in spring. Its gentle, soothing smell would then overwhelm my nose. And the sea of light purple blanket is dancing in the wind as if its dancing to the rhythm of a sad song. I would run around in circles in the garden barefooted with someone, someone I love to hang out with. Laughing and rolling in the grass. And taking avant-garde photos with my sx-70. Or step in the backyard laden with 3 inch thick snow in a typical lonely December. Lying in the snow, making snow angels. Hoping and praying they will make life better.

Sometimes I wonder if I really know myself. I think I'll start it over, where no one knows my name. And the only thing I feel bad about starting a new life is leaving my best friend behind.